watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
