No awkward lesbian experiences without me
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
