the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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