Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
