This girl is more easily done than said...
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
