We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
