THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
