You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
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