i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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