I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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