I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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