She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
