Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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