Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
