I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
