her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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