I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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