try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize