I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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