A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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