Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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