so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Randomize
