Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize