i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
