im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Come see our sink grown plant.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
