I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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