Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Randomize
