The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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