Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
