mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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