I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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