I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
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There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
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i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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