cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
