she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
