brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I have feelings that need drinking.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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