dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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