There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
