I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Randomize
