Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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