Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
