The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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