I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize