I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
