I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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