I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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