no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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