i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
