It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
