I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize