i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize