the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
