i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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