All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
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