This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
