Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
