Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
