someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
