Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
