I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
